The Day I Decided To Go Natural…Again

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I have been natural for well over 15 years. I had locs (not dreadlocks) for about 10 years and then I cut them all off when I broke up with my then (and now…long story) boyfriend back in 2009.

My hair journey has been a long but deserving one. I never understood the importance a woman’s crown was until mine started to fall out.

Stress and poor diet helped my hair shed which later caused me to cut it all off.

When I first grew my locs, I did it for radio. I wanted my listeners to recognize me as the “light skinned honey with the locs”. That worked because I was the ONLY radio personality with that type of hairstyle.

For years, I sported long locs (longer than I had ever grown my hair) not knowing that I was actually hiding from all of my problems.

When I moved to Baltimore back in 2008, I saw so many people with the same hairstyle and for the first time, I wanted to stop hiding. 

 

Brandi, my hair stylist, asked “you ready?” all while holding my hair in one hand and a pair of shears in the other. Before I could say “uh”, SNAP! My locs, as if in slow motion, fell onto the salon floor. I cried.

She kept cutting and didn’t stop until my hair was cut short (really short) and all my hair was on the floor. I cried again.

Never had I ever thought this would make me feel this way. India Arie even wrote a song about it. People don’t realize how attached we are to our hair.

We invest in wigs, weaves, extensions, relaxers, expensive blow dryers and dyes all to look like the cover of a hair magazine. I can go into how we’re killing our hair using all the chemicals that we think matter, but they don’t and I won’t.

Watching Chris Rock’s movie “Good Hair” I was convinced that I needed to pay more attention to my hair.

From locs, I went to a relaxer, and weave, and heat! I was killing my hair (again)! I had short cuts, long braids, half shaved and full wig! I was going through an identity crisis!

I realized that my hair is my crown. It defines who I am and who I am not. I am a woman who lives a busy life and takes it seriously. I don’t have time for quick fixes and bullsh*t! In April, I’ll be turning 45! It’s time to grow up! Stop hiding behind my hair!

The products I use are simple: raw shea butter, coconut oil, tea tree shampoo and leave in conditioner. I wrap my hair in a bonnet at night and that’s it! My barber shapes me up once every few weeks and I’m good! No more freaking out in the mirror because my curls fell! No more unsuccessful twist outs! No more flat irons and spritz! Nope! I’m good!

This is my story! I’m happy with my decision and I think I’ll keep it for a while. No more shedding my past on the floor for others to sweep up and throw in the trash.

 

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