The proliferation of Facebook and other social media platforms has provided new and novel ways to step out on one’s spouse, without ever leaving the comfort of their homes. In fact, some affairs never make it out of the digital space, with all communications relegated to text messages, pictures, and video calls.

That doesn’t make these instances of infidelity any less damaging, however. Many couples draw a hard line on cheating, whether the affair occurred in real life or online. If you have suspicions that your partner may be wooing a new love on Facebook or other social media, here are a few signs to look for:

Your Spouse Is Possessive of Mobile Devices

Next time you’re lounging around with your spouse on a lazy weekend, pay close attention to their actions when using mobile devices. Do they diligently take their phone with them wherever they go, even to the kitchen for a snack? Do they position the phone screen away from your line of vision when texting? Do they appear nervous or hesitant if you ask to use their phone for something? While these behaviors don’t automatically mean your spouse is cyber cheating, they should raise red flags.

You Hear Message Notifications at Odd Hours

Late night messages are rarely good, especially when they’re out of character for your spouse. While some people are natural night owls, late night pings and notifications may be of the amorous nature when they’re a relatively new occurrence. This is especially concerning if your spouse eagerly answers the message when they arrive, regardless of the time or whether you’re resting peacefully right next to them.

Your Spouse Is Overly Critical of You and/or the Relationship

Not surprisingly, many people feel guilty about carrying on affairs. This guilt often leads to odd behaviors, as the cheater may be attempting to subconsciously put the blame on you. Your spouse may lash out at you for meaningless occurrences, such as being late making breakfast one morning. They might also criticize aspects of your character they previously claimed to love, for example your talkative nature. Romantic relationships naturally have their ups and downs, but you can usually tell the difference between normal squabbles and genuine issues.

You Notice Comments and Likes from Unfamiliar People

If you’re also active on Facebook, you probably interact with your partner quite a bit online. You may even be friends with their friends and family, which means you’ll be somewhat familiar with others who post on your partner’s timeline. Have you noticed a new person pop up in recent weeks? Does this person leave a lot of comments and likes? Do they share inside jokes and messages with your spouse that you don’t understand? If so, it’s time for a discussion.

Your Spouse Reacts Defensively When You Bring Up Concerns

When bringing up your concerns, watch your spouse’s actions carefully. A defensive reaction could indicate that your partner is attempting to hide something from you and is feeling frustrated by your discovery. They may also try to deflect your suspicions by claiming that you’re overreacting or behaving irrationally. This is known as “gaslighting”, which is a tactic cheating spouses use to question your credibility. Trust your gut and take decisive action if you feel you’re not being respected within your romantic relationship.

Even a problem as serious as infidelity can be overcome when both spouses are committed to making a change in their marriage. However, identifying problems is only the first step. In order to move forward, you’ll need to take an honest look at your relationship, its faults, and how any issues can be mended.

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